Conversation with the Commonwealth Bank
I wanted to set up my credit card with a PIN so that I can use that instead of a signature, all part of the new ‘Pen or PIN‘ system. So I checked the Commonwealth Bank’s information site on the matter, which says to either visit a branch or call them to have one mailed out. It’s not easy getting to and waiting in a branch these days, so I decide to call and eventually get put through to ‘John’. The following conversation then ensues:
Me: Hi, I would like a PIN for my credit card mailed out please.
John: Sure, but it would be quicker to go into a branch.
Me: Ok, but I would prefer it to be mailed out.
John: Are you sure? Some of our branches are open on weekends now.
Me: I’m sure, please mail it out.
John: I’ll just check which weekend branches are near you (5 minutes while he finds list of these, discusses where I live and work and finds none which are particularly close to where I am).
John: How about X Shopping Center?
Me: No, that’s a way off.
John: Surely that’s only a few minutes drive?
Me: Not on public transport.
John: What about Y Shopping Center?
Me: No, that’s even further. Can you please mail out the PIN?
John: It really would be quicker to go into a branch.
Me: But I can’t get to a branch while I’m working or on the weekend. It really would be easier to have it mailed out.
John: Still it would only take 5 minutes to go into a branch, it’s up to 10 days to mail it out.
Me: That’s ok, I can wait, please mail it out.
John: What about Z branch near work?
Me, completely fed up: Just forget about it.
John: Ok, thanks for calling.
This doesn’t count as customer service. It should be a 2 minute call to have the thing sent out and 2 minutes for me to open the letter and read the PIN. Total of 4 minutes. This is more convenient for me than a 20 minute walk to the branch near work, god knows how long a wait in the queue (conservative estimate, 20 minutes), 10 minutes to explain what I want and get it and a 20 minute walk back. Total of 70 minutes. The 10 days to send it out doesn’t count, it’s the time out of my life that does.
Commonwealth Bank, you still repulse me and I continually wonder why I continue to keep money in you. This is the bank that gives a $0.03 interest payment on the same day it deducts a $2.00 ATM access fee. As soon as I find a decent alternative, my money and I are gone. I’m certainly not only on this one.
And John? You’re a tool.
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